At Peace With The World
by Alicia Olivia Mirza
Summary: In a universe where Tom Riddle was sentenced to Azkaban for the murder of his Muggle relatives, Lord Voldemort never came into power, many lives turned out very differently. However, it seems there is such a thing as fate and Harry Potter is bound to be born in 1980 to Lily and James – even if they are yet to meet. Peace can be just as eventful... {Jily, AU, no Voldemort/no war}
1. The Night

**Author's note:** As a big fan of Lily and James, I've always found it sad how short their lives were and how much it was shaped by the war. I wanted to write a more light-hearted story about them where their biggest problems are growing up, getting a job, working, balancing relationships, family and friends. I wanted to see them as simple (but of course magical) young adults who fear magazine articles and gossip instead of dark wizards.

/If you like the story check out my Tumblr (aliciaomirza) for more content!/

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 ** _Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for the OCs. The world of Harry Potter was created by J. K. Rowling and I'm just borrowing her characters and settings for my readers' and my own enjoyment._**

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 **AT PEACE WITH THE WORLD**

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 **Summary:** In a universe where Tom Riddle was sentenced to Azkaban for the murder of his Muggle relatives, Lord Voldemort never came into power, many people's life turned out differently. However, it seems there is such a thing as fate and Harry Potter is bound to be born in 1980 – even if his parents are yet to meet.

 **AU factor:** With no Voldemort, the First Wizarding War didn't happen (though there is still prejudice against Muggle-borns). The butterfly effect is strong though so other than the obvious changes there are many smaller ones such as Lily attending Ilvermorny instead of Hogwarts never meeting the Marauders. (After all Voldemort's plans and reign started many years ago so his absence would change a lot.) Note that some of the characters at first might seem a bit OOC, but that is mostly because they didn't grow up in wartime and weren't fighting a war by the time they left school. In some character's case it might make them look childish and/or less likeable, but don't worry, they will all grow up by the end of the story.

 **Time:** The story starts in the autumn of 1979.

 **Universe:** Completely canon to the Harry Potter universe, except for the obvious AU factor and the changes it causes. So the storyline itself is changed, the world is not. Though of course there will be fanon and head!canon elements as well.

 **Main characters:** Lily Evans, James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Euphemia Potter, Severus Snape, Alice Prewett, Marlene McKinnon, Mary Macdonald, Frank Longbottom, some OCs, etc.

 **Rating:** T, because of language and mentions of some adult situations

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 **I. The Night**

 ** _17th November 1979, Saturday_**

Muggle London never seemed to rest, the lamps were flickering with white light and many of the buildings' windows were bright. Restaurants, casinos, pubs and even some shops stood with doors wide open still inviting everyone inside. It didn't seem to matter that it was long dark outside and many were already sleeping in their homes because of the late hour. Noise – a strange mix of music and laughter – greeted James as he strolled down the street.

"Oi, Prongs!" He didn't turn around. Instead, he fixed his eyes on a pretty Muggle girl who dropped her bag and was looking anxiously around. With swift movements she was grabbing everything that has spilt out of it. For a moment he thought of crossing the street quickly and helping the red-haired beauty, but he decided that he would only frighten her. Not to mention that his short-lived stop was enough for Sirius to catch up with him.

"Com' back, mate," Sirius offered, his words slightly blurred from all the alcohol he had already consumed (even though the night was far from over). James remained silent for a long moment. He kept looking in the general direction of the girl who was now on her way to one of the lit buildings. He didn't pay more attention to her after that. He turned around to face his best mate knowing that sooner or later he had to deal with him anyways so there was no point in just stalling time.

"I had enough of the celebration," he offered half-heartedly. Sirius pressed his lips together. His usually carefully and skilfully done dark hair was a bit wild now and his grey eyes were bright in the light of the Muggle street lamps. Whether it was from the alcohol or from concern for him, James wasn't sure.

"It's Frank's special night – he is getting hitched. It's his last night before he becomes Alice's minion. It's not nice of you to just leave." James crossed his arms. Frank was a nice guy and James liked him (though didn't know him as well as Sirius did), but he certainly wasn't in the mood for celebrating holy matrimony. Really, it was nothing against Frank.

"I know that –" he started only to have Sirius continue with his speech like he didn't even notice James was there. With the amount of Firewhisky he has had in a very short amount of time, it was not actually surprising. On the other hand, the fact that he was able to speak fluently and he was coherent certainly was.

"If it's about _her_ , then just forget her for one night. She was a bitch to you. She doesn't deserve you moping around like a lost puppy. Fuck, puppies are at least cute. You are just pathetic." James snorted at that. Trust Sirius to start talking about dogs and insult him in one sentence while trying to make him feel better.

"Thanks, Pads, but I just want a bit of peace and quiet, you know?" he said and gestured towards the nicely-lit Muggle London.

"Alone?" Sirius tilted his head and formed the word like it was a foreign concept to him. In a way, it must have been as he was the type who was always craving other people's attention and love. (James supposed it was because Sirius lacked it as a child). James was much like Sirius. However, every once in a while when the world seemed to mock him and his life looked to be in ruins, he enjoyed having a bit of space.

"Yeah – just tonight," James added. Sirius looked at him with unfocused eyes, yet his gaze seemed sharper than ever.

"She's messed you up big time, Prongs," he said softly and James nodded without a word. "I'll be back in the Leaky then – you know where to find us." He eyed James like he was waiting for James to come around and say that he was going back to the pub with him.

"It's okay, Padfoot. Enjoy the party and make sure Frank has the best night out as it might be his last one," he joked half-heartedly. Sirius still watched him carefully, but he nodded eventually. He started walking back towards the magical pub where the rest of the stag night's guests were mingling, drinking a vast amount of alcohol and getting completely wasted as a way of celebrating the impending wedding of Frank Longbottom.

James looked back and noted how slowly Sirius was walking. Everyone else who saw him would think that he was already so drunk that he could hardly walk. However, James knew better. His best mate was still waiting for him to reconsider the offer. While the idea of drinking himself to numb was awfully tempting, he just couldn't do it with others around teasing Frank about being whipped. Especially not when Frank was obviously nauseously in love and was happy to be the minion of Alice for the rest of his life. If Sirius was thinking more clearly he would have probably understood what was going through James' head. He would have joined his best mate in a Muggle pub loudly complaining about how stupid relationships were. With his best mate under the influence of Firewhisky though, James remained alone.

He wondered where his other two closest friends were. It was strange that they didn't notice him slipping away and didn't realise that he needed them. Then again knowing Remus he actually paid attention to Frank whose night it was supposed to be. Then there was Peter who was probably trying to chat up any girl he came across.

He watched a group of Muggles around his age, both girls and boys, obviously friends going in a dimly lit building. With nothing better to do he followed them from a distance. They were a merry bunch, obviously looking for an entertaining night, so wherever they were going he was pretty sure he was going to find some alcohol as well. The magical folks and Muggles were different in many ways, but the possession of magical ability didn't change one's age. It seemed partying and drinking was part of both cultures equally.

A place where he could get alcohol seemed like a good option once the fresh air cleared his mind a bit. He only had a few drinks at the party and already he felt too sober for his self-pity. What he needed was a quiet night with lots of drinks. He wasn't sure why he ever thought he would be able to get through the bachelor party. Looking back it was obviously a bad idea in his current state of mind.

The pub he entered after a minute or two behind the group of young adults was a cosy place. The group was chatting with the bartender merrily and took place in a booth like they owned it which suggested to James that they frequented the place often. He guessed it was the type of place where Muggles around his age spent most of their nights. It was not overly loud, it was quite friendly, and certainly not a shady place, but it was still obviously a pub instead of a café.

He was glad that just before he left the Leaky Cauldron he had the sense of transfiguring his clothes in something more Muggle-like so instead of a cloak and robes, he had a black coat on and under it a white shirt. He was pretty sure everyone would be staring at him if he didn't do it while this way he looked just like one of them.

He sat down on a barstool, took off his coat and the bartender asked him what he wanted. According to Sirius the most important aspect of Muggle culture was drinking. Thanks to his mate who spent a vast amount of money and time to educate himself on the said form of culture, he knew exactly what he just wanted and needed. He muttered: "A Scotch." And only when he was passed the amber-like liquid and he reached for his wallet, did he remember that he had no Muggle money on him. The bartender looked at him impatiently, but to his luck, a young woman on his right seemed to notice his problem.

"I've got it, Brad," she said pleasantly obviously knowing the bartender. James supposed she was one of the Muggles who came often to the pub like the group he saw earlier. She gave the right amount of money to the bartender who seemed to look between the two of them somewhat suspiciously, but then nodded.

"Thank you, you didn't need to," James muttered embarrassedly. He turned towards the woman and he immediately recognized her. She was the one he saw earlier dropping her bag. She had long dark red hair falling down her shoulder in waves and a pale complexion dusted with light freckles. She also had rather peculiar green eyes. They were a shade James was pretty much he had hardly ever seen before. While studying them the world emerald came into his mind.

"It's okay. You seem to need it," she said and James nodded half-heartedly. To be honest, he had no desire to be talking with anyone especially not a Muggle girl he didn't know at all. However, after her kindness of paying for his drink, it would have been rude to ignore her completely.

"Yeah, life sucks," he offered cautiously. To his surprise she chuckled humourlessly.

"You tell me... I've just received the wedding invitation of the guy I thought I was going to marry," she said. James noted that there was a hint of foreign accent in her voice, but at the same time she sounded English. If he had to guess the touch of accent then he would say American, though he had no idea about the region. She herself had a glass of something rather strong in her hand which she quite frequently sipped on.

"I slipped away from a bachelor party. I couldn't handle it. The girl I kind of always thought I was going to marry laughed in my face when I proposed to her. She also kicked my ass out saying we were obviously not meant to be and I didn't understand her at all if I thought she wanted to get married." He wasn't sure why he was telling all this to a Muggle girl he has never met before. He guessed it was because it was actually easier talking about this with her than his mates. Not only were his friends emotionally invested in his life, but they knew his almost bride well too. This girl, on the other hand, was someone he was never going to see again. At the same time they shared a broken heart, so she knew what a messed up thing being heartbroken was.

"Sounds like a charmer," she said and a small smile played on the edge of his mouth.

"Says the girl whose ex has invited her to his wedding," he pointed out and she snorted.

"Touché," she replied. "Now tell me, have you left your wallet at home?" she asked and he nodded along because he couldn't exactly tell her that what he lacked was Muggle money. "How about this? I buy you drinks if you let me rant about my douche of an ex-boyfriend. The son of a bitch left me just because my family wasn't elegant enough for him. And then you tell me how messed up your love life is, so I know I'm not the only one who is completely screwed."

"Okay, I'm in. Bring it on. The love of my life told me that she just couldn't marry me, because she's never dated anyone else before. She said I was trying to tie her down before she even lived. Apparently she needed to sleep with other people. I was so pathetic I told her that she should go out that night, have sex in a bathroom with a random guy in a club or pub and then we should get married the next day." At that, the girl started laughing.

"You didn't!" she accused, but he shook his head with a faint smile.

"I did. She told me I was delusional and I should be sleeping with other girls instead too. As obviously, I don't have any real-life experience if I think that's how a relationship is supposed to work." James awkwardly ran his hand through his hair.

"Well, that must have hurt. Out of curiosity, did you take up on her offer though?" she asked eagerly and he paled.

"Nah, I mean, I know it's pathetic, but I do love her you know. My blood is boiling when I imagine her with someone else," he said and then he drank the rest of his Scotch in one gulp. The girl next to him asked for another for him and then another for her. He noticed that her attention was on him though. She seemed interested in his story.

"What did your mates say to that?" she asked curiously.

"My best mate told me to do it. According to him a quick but great shag is the best way to get over a heartbreak." She seemed to ponder on that. She remained silent. "What about ya? You haven't ranted yet even if it was supposed to be part of our deal," he prompted her.

"Remember later that you wanted it. Well, we went to school together, has been each other's firsts in every way. I was foolishly in love and then he just broke up with me one day saying that school was over and in real life, I'm not good enough for his very important family." While her story was a bit different, it did remind James a lot of his own heartbreak. Especially her apparent misery so he reached out for her hand which wasn't holding her glass. It was instead on her thigh, making it a lot more sensual than he first imagined. He thought that she would pull away from his touch, but she didn't, so he awkwardly entwined their hands on her thigh.

"If he is getting married obviously it hasn't just happened, so why the gloom?" he asked curiously. He was surprised to realise that he was interested in her story as well. She let out a laugh at that.

"Oh, it only happened like three months ago hence being so upset. I mean three months ago I was awaiting a ring myself. One I obviously never received. This was supposed to be a girl's night out with my roommate, but she is a med student, a very diligent one, and I'm sure she got held up by the beauty of atherosclerosis and is wasting away in the library." He didn't understand at all why she would call her friend a 'mad student', but he guessed it was a Muggle way of saying that the girl studied a lot. Also, the way she said 'beauty' made James sure that whatever that athero-thing was it was everything but pretty, but as he had no clue about such Muggle things he decided to change the topic.

"So, she stood you up?" He was curious because she didn't seem upset. She just shrugged.

"She is just diligent. As a good girl myself I understand that." She leaned closer to him like she was telling him a great secret. Her breath was warm on his neck and he shivered from her closeness. She let his hand go, but so close up to her, his hand remained firmly on her thigh. A piece of dark red hair was tickling his neck. The rest of her hair fell around her face as a blood-red halo reminding James of some tempting devil, a fallen angel.

She leaned back, which made James let out a sigh. If he was disappointed or relieved he wasn't sure. She ordered another round of drinks even though James wasn't sure anymore if it was a good idea. The more he drank the less focused he was and the more his mind wandered.

"You don't like drinking alone then?" he asked trying to get the images out of his mind that their close encounter prompted. She was immensely pretty there was no question there. He was also a nineteen-year-old lad who had a bit of a drink. It was a natural reaction, nothing more. Just to make sure there really wouldn't happen more, he removed his hand from her. Luckily she didn't seem to notice.

"Nah, not at all. I'm glad I found some company. I'm Lily by the way. Not sure if I introduced myself before. And you are?" She tilted her head and the waves of dark red shimmered in the dim light of the pub. James never really liked gingers before, but he had to admit that there was something enchanting about the rich red-coloured hair especially as it contrasted with her pale complexion and emphasized her unique eyes. It was like she was on fire.

"James," he replied stiffly trying to forget about the beauty in front of him. He should just go back to the Leaky Cauldron, he thought, rejoin the party. Knowing his friends it was still in full swing (and would be for another few hours at least). He should have another few drinks there, then go home and wallow in pity. He could get up early the next morning and go flying to get his mind off of his heartbreak. Maybe even train until he was completely exhausted and couldn't bother even thinking of the girl who broke his heart.

Lily – the name prompted something breakable, white and pure. The girl in front of him wasn't like that though. She was fiery, tempting and sharp from what he had seen of her. Yet, somehow it fit. (Just like the tiny black dress she had on he couldn't help, but notice. He had eyes after all.)

"James – how about another one?" she asked gesturing towards her glass and already grabbing he purse. This was where he was supposed to say no. He should thank her for the previous drinks and stumble back to the magical part of London. However, something about the way she was biting her lips, stopped him. She still seemed upset, lonely as well. She was obviously in need of some company and her roommate was not around to provide it to her. Why he cared he wasn't sure. A Muggle girl he had spent a bit of a time ranting about exes was not his problem. However, her heart was just as much broken as his and because of that he felt some kind of connexion to the girl. None of his mates understood what he was feeling the way a Muggle girl he has just met did. The thought was disorientating, but at the same time, it excited him.

"I–" He really was just about to say no, but then his eyes met her green ones. They were wide with hope. He looked around the pub, trying to see if there was anyone who could entertain the upset girl, not even knowing what he was looking for, but not finding it anyways. "Sure," he agreed eventually.

Once he started sipping on another glass of drink, he relaxed. Instead of the sharp November wind outside that had a sobering effect and cleared his mind temporarily, the pub's air was warm and stuffy. With each passing moment he felt more and more sluggish and he felt less upset. It was like his problems have never existed.

"Waz 'e always such a j'rk?" he asked after a few minutes of silence. She turned towards him and pressed her lips together, her forehead wrinkled as if she was deep in thought.

"Nah, he was like – like – you, know, perfect. Annoyingly per-per-fect. Talented, handso– good-looking, sexy, cha'ming." James noticed that her accent was thicker now and her words less clear. She was getting relaxed as well.

"A perfect jerk," James said with a smirk. She grinned and lifted her arms up in triumph like that was precisely what she was going to say.

"Exactly!" she agreed with a chuckle.

"Jerk," he said and she nodded along.

"Such a jerk."

"Let's drink to gettin' ri' of a jerk," he proposed and she dutifully clinked their glasses.

"A comp'ete jerk," she supplied. She then put down her glass and leaned again closer to him lowering her voice. "You see t'at guy over the corner in black? He is cre'py and starin' at me." James indeed noticed an older man looking in their direction, his eyes fixated on Lily. He seemed to have been looking at her hungrily. James put his right arm around her waist angrily, pulling her closer as if he could shield her from the creepy man's eyes.

"Ho' do I know you're not cr'epy?" she muttered wonderingly like it was the biggest question of the universe. Instead of getting away from him though, she got comfortable in his arms and even slipped her own left arm around his waistline. With a clumsy movement, her hand slipped under his shirt which made him stiffen. She obviously noticed her mistake and jerked away, but his arm remained planted around her waist. However, now he was completely aware of her body pressed against his making the trouser he had on considerably tighter. He also felt awkward for reacting like that to her presence. He wasn't supposed to be affected by her closeness.

"You think I am?" he questioned her looking at her. She was so close that he could have counted the freckles on her face even in the dim light of the pub. She didn't answer him for a long moment and didn't even look at him. He took that as agreement and he pulled his arm back. She turned his way entirely, facing him instead of the counter, which prompted him to do the same. She even pulled her bar stool closer to his in an awkward mess of motion. Her coordination was obviously lacking at the moment. She put her right hand on his waist, but this time she deliberately slipped her small hand under his transfigured shirt. He again stiffened but this time he didn't pull away.

"Nah, jus' a bit stiff," she replied with a wink. "You know my roomma'e had the same idea as your frien'. She says getting laid's the way to forget about a hear'break." His heart rate quickened especially when her sinful fingers started drawing patterns underneath his shirt. He really should get away as soon as possible from her and those fingers of hers, they were dangerous.

"I–" he completely forgot what he was about to say when her other hand found its way to his thigh. After a long moment of haze, he continued. "Isn't she a good girl?" he asked in a low voice and she smiled wickedly.

"I thought I was one too," she said as she leaned even closer to him. She lingered right in front of him with one hand on his thigh and the other under his shirt. Then she pressed her lips lightly to his. Before James even realized what was happening, it was all over.

"I'm outta cash. Ya know, my friend was supposed to pay. I've got lots of alcohol at home though, just around the corner. You coming?" she asked as she suddenly stood up. His head was light from her sudden actions and the movement. What she said hardly made any sense to him as his mind was still focused on the way her lips moved against his. Of course, the little sense he still possessed shouted at him to just go home (to Sirius's really) or back to the Leaky Cauldron.

She grabbed his arm though and pulled him after her. He had at least not forgotten to grab his long black coat but didn't put it on as they left. The cold and freshening air of London night returned some of his lost senses rather quickly. He was just about to bid goodbye to the fiery temptress who took away his mind when she turned towards him and kissed him again this time with a lot more force and passion. One of her wandering hands again got lost under his shirt while the other quickly found its way into his hair. James pressed her against the wall of the pub, his own hands wandering down her body, mapping it out.

"Let's continue this upstairs," she said seductively. As it turned around she wasn't kidding when she said she lived just around the corner. In a few minutes (which weren't enough to sober James up, not after that snog) they were inside of a cosy flat. James didn't have the time or the interest to observe it though.

"We – are not – supposed to do – this," James said as her quick fingers unbuttoned his shirt while she was pressed against him. How they went from ranting in a pub to doing this his mind couldn't even comprehend after all the drinks he had (in the wizarding and the Muggle London altogether).

"Why?" she asked as she reached the last button and threw away his shirt leaving him half naked. Somewhere around the hallway, she has already lost her coat and her dress. She was standing in no more than her undergarment in front of him which made answering her more difficult for James.

"We don't know each other – I – I still love her and-and it's... not right." His mind was a lot clearer than before but he was still under the influence of alcohol and he had a feeling that the sobering up was only temporary, so he had to stop this now before he was too unfocused to even think of leaving.

"It's therapy – for both of us," she muttered. "I-I have never had a one-night stand before, but maybe our friends were right. We shag, we forget, we get over it. Easy, but effective." James was pretty sure that he wasn't going to get over his heartbreak just by having sex with a Muggle stranger. However, her lips on his shut him up pretty quickly, especially as her tongue made its way into his mouth. Somehow a bottle of vodka got involved not to mention her sinful hands. In less than five minutes he even forgot why he ever thought this was a bad idea.

The next morning he woke up with a pounding headache. He couldn't even open his eyes for a long moment. When he finally opened them the light pouring in through the large windows disorientated him even more. He needed nearly a minute to remember that he was supposed to be sleeping on Sirius's couch and that his living-room was a pretty dark room with only a small window.

He looked around with intensity trying to work out where he was and what he was doing there. He needed another moment to realize that he didn't recognize the place at all, but what was worse that he wasn't alone in the bed. A young woman around his own age was sleeping soundlessly right next to him. Her dark red wavy hair was lying around her like a blood-tainted halo. The name Lily came into his mind and then so did last night's memories or at least enough of them to quickly locate the pieces of his clothing and get dressed. Luckily he found his wand without a problem in the pocket of his coat.

He hesitated for a moment not knowing what he was supposed to do. He never had a one-night stand before as he had been in a monogamous relationship since his adolescence. He had a glass of water in the kitchen to help curing his hangover and there he noticed a shopping list (which said: 'milk!, chocolate, bread, pepper, tomato, carrot') on the table with a Muggle invention next to it. He was pretty sure it was called a pen and was the non-magical version of a quill. He picked it up and he scribbled a quick note under the list a bit shakily as he has never used a pen before:

 _I didn't want to wake you; I have to go to work. I had a nice night, hope you did too._

 _Wish you luck with that jerk,_

 _James_

He knew it was awkward, but he had no idea what else to write especially to a Muggle. He supposed he should be giving her some way to contact him so it wouldn't look like that once he got laid, he didn't need her anymore. However, he had no idea how that was supposed to work with him being a wizard. Plus to be honest he wasn't looking for a relationship with her. Not because she wasn't a witch, but simply because the only relationship he wanted has just ended. He hoped to repair that one and not jump into another one.

The night he had just was a mistake, one he wasn't about to repeat, and one he just wanted to forget about. Both Sirius and Lily's friend were wrong. Getting laid didn't help with his heartbreak instead it just made him feel guilty.

Lily was a nice girl, but that was all. What took place between them only happened because both had too much to drink and were down. They were heartbroken and were desperate for some sort of release from their failed relationships. It didn't mean anything. He supposed he should wake her and tell her all that but this time she would be more alert than last night so he could easily slip up when it came to pretending to be a Muggle. If there was one way he didn't want to spend the rest of his day then it was trying to sort out the mess of breaking the Statute of Secrecy. So, with a pop, he Disapparated leaving behind more than he expected.


	2. The Trainee

**II. The Trainee**

 ** _18th November 1979, Sunday_**

Lily felt horrible when she woke up, a clear sign of having drunk too much last night. She stumbled into the kitchen of her apartment and wasn't surprised to find her roommate sitting by the table nursing a cup of coffee with a book in front of her wide open. It was rare to see Jo without a book glued to her hands. Come to think of it, Lily was pretty sure that in the three months she has spent living with Jo it hasn't happened yet.

"Was he hot?" Jo asked and Lily stilled. She turned towards her friend with her wand in hand which was the first thing she looked for once she was up. Jo raised her hands in mock surrender, not that Lily would ever aim at her. It was not like Jo could protect herself – it would just not be fair.

" _Josephine_ , I have no idea what you are talking about," she said, but the wicked smile of her friend suggested that she knew exactly what she was talking about and she wasn't just guessing. Then again as this was the first time Lily had a one-night stand, it would be strange if Jo guessed correctly what had happened.

"Really? I would suggest checking the shopping list then," Jo suggested innocently and gestured towards the piece of paper Lily remembered writing yesterday before she went to the pub. Under the necessities, she wanted to buy was a quick and hasty message from her one-night-stand. While Lily didn't expect much out of the situation as after all, it was just a liquor-induced act of passion, she had to admit that she was a bit disappointed. If he left a telephone number she decided that she probably wouldn't have called him, but at least she could have if she wanted to. She supposed it was a question of pride – she was only good enough for him for a quickie and she didn't like that. She wanted to be the one to suggest it was only a onetime thing.

"So, how was it?" Jo raised her dark eyebrows, her eyes twinkling in good humour. Her black hair was as always in a perfect bun and Lily once again wondered how Jo was able to do that without a wand – Lily's own red curls always escaped even when she held her hair together with magic and used the most complex charms she could think of.

Lily sat down facing Jo with a cup of coffee. She was silent for a moment while she sipped on the coffee (and tried to remember where she had put the remaining bit of her emergency hangover potion).

"Good – very hot," Lily replied. Of course, that wasn't enough for her friend so she had to go into details. Some of the things Jo asked were actually exceedingly scandalous and when she pointed that out Jo just shrugged and replied that she was a medical student. That seemed to be Jo's excuse for everything.

"Well, I'm glad then that I ditched you," she said with a wink, but then she pressed her lips together. "I'm kidding. Sorry for not showing up, I got back a homework assignment and I was told that if I correct it until today I can get a better mark on it."

Lily wasn't kidding when she told her one-time lover (James the paper in front of her reminded her of his name) that she wasn't angry with Jo for not showing up. While she was at school Lily quite frequently ditched her own friends for the sake of her studies too and she understood Jo in a way few did – their situation as a Squib and a No-Maj-born was quite alike.

They were both part of two worlds, but neither accepted them entirely. Lily suspected that Jo's diligence was rooted in her fears of not belonging in the No-Maj world, the same way she always wanted to show the magical community that just because her parents were No-Majs, she was not lesser than the rest of them.

"You know I'm not bothered by it – you pay me the rent when you are hardly around and I have the entire place to myself," she joked around and Jo laughed out this time. A sudden sharp pain in her head reminded Lily of the quantity of alcohol she had consumed the night before which made her groan.

"What do you want – painkiller or hangover potion?" Jo asked her. She muttered 'potion' and her amazing roommate was so kind to her and understood her pain so well that in a minute she was back with the bottle of the remaining potion. Lily brew back it in September when she moved to London and the two of them had a wild night celebrating their new living arrangements.

"Thank you, I have to go to the hospital for the night shift and I don't know how I would have survived without this. Remind me of how shit a hangover is the next time when I want to get smashed to forget about some dumb guy. It's so not worth it." Lily sighed after drinking the bitter-tasting potion.

"Well, Silas certainly isn't worth it, on that we can agree," Jo said while she flipped a page in her book. On the next page, there was such a gruesome picture that Lily had to jump up and sprint to the toilet. However, the potion kicked in sooner than any mundane medication would and by the time she reached the toilet her queasiness was over (though her headache has only just lessened a bit so far). Lily rejoined Jo in the kitchen and once she was sure her stomach was settled she made herself a sandwich.

"You know, there is this guy at uni – his name is Matt. He is like Prince Charming," Jo said as Lily sat down at the small kitchen table to join her.

"Go for it then. Sounds nice," Lily encouraged her friend and Jo scoffed.

"You know I don't care for relationships that much. I simply don't have the time to start something serious. A fling every once in a while or an alcohol-fuelled one-night-stand as some stress relief? Sure, but not a relationship. This guy is just the romantic type you know with roses and dinners and diamond rings," Jo explained as Lily munched on her sandwich. Luckily the potion seemed to have cured all her problems and she even had her appétit back.

"Sounds too good to be true," Lily replied doubtfully. Jo shrugged while she turned a page in her book. Lily couldn't imagine how she could have paid any attention to the book while talking about boys, but knowing Jo, she actually did.

"Well, obviously he is a No-Maj and I believe there was also a girl who broke his heart so he might feel a bit under the weather. However, he is ridiculously sexy and smart – a perfect combo," Jo answered and Lily hesitated, putting down the reminders of her sandwich.

"I don't know, Josy," at the nickname she received a half-hearted glare. "He sounds great, but if he is a med student how could I explain my life? If it was a random No-Maj without any knowledge in medicine then I could always just say I'm training to be a nurse or something like that, but there is no chance that I could get away with such a lie with him if he really is that smart as you say."

Lily never had any problems with being set up with someone. Okay, it never really happened, because since she could remember it was always _LilyandSilas_ or _SilasandLily_ , but since her brutal break-up with the said jerk she did think of asking some friends to introduce her to a guy. It was just not as easy as most of her friends lived in the States.

"Oh, come on, Lily! I'm not asking you to marry the guy and tell him about the existence of witchcraft, I just think that after everything that jerk has put you through, you deserve a guy who would treat you well. You could always come up with a bigger lie too – he doesn't need to know that you work in healthcare," Jo protested and to Lily's greatest surprise she shut her book.

"Wouldn't I just use the boy then too?" she asked in puzzlement and Jo rolled her eyes.

"Just a few dates – you know, go to the movies, eat out at some fancy restaurant, and then stroll along the Thames. Just some simple date-y and romantic stuff, but none of the heartbreak. The guy might just turn out the love of your life and if not then the two of you say goodbye with easy smiles," Jo told her confidentially and at that moment she reminded Lily very much of her best friend, Camille. Jo's younger sister who was Lily's best friend at Ilvermorny spoke exactly like that when she had a plan. Realization dawned on Lily.

"You already set up a blind date with this guy for me," she said and Jo nodded enthusiastically.

"Yes, next week – no way out, I'm afraid. He is very excited, we just have a test before it that he must study for so it can't be sooner," Jo said with a grin and Lily just shook her head.

"I had a one-night stand as you suggested. Wasn't that enough?" she asked and Jo frowned.

"Well, to be honest, I didn't think you would do it, so I couldn't exactly include it in my plans, but it doesn't really change anything other than you had some hot sex," Jo replied with a thoughtful expression. Before Jo could set her up with more guys, she realized she had to study so Lily was left alone for most of the day which she spent with some light reading and some more sleeping knowing she had a long shift ahead.

Even with her hangover magically cured, she certainly had not much spirit for work, especially as she always hated the night shift anyway. She Apparated to St Mungo's and in the tiny changing room which was for the trainees, she changed into her uniform.

"So, Lily, did you have a wild night?" Without even turning around Lily knew perfectly well that Mary was the one talking to her. She started the Healer training at the same time as Mary only she started it in the States. However, in the three months they have known each other they became fast friends.

Mary always joked with Lily that if only she attended Hogwarts like 'every normal magical person in Britain' (to which Lily then replied that she was not exactly in Britain when she started school) then they would have been friends from the first year, so Lily robbed her of eight years of friendship. Mary was also convinced that they would have been in the same house as well – that there was something 'lion-y' about Lily. Lily never commented on that and just accepted it that apparently, she looked brave.

Mary herself had a night shift the day before, so that's why she didn't even plan on joining Lily's pity party at the pub. However, she encouraged Lily to have a wild night saying that she certainly deserved it and she had to work on forgetting that jerk. She was livid when Lily showed her the wedding invitation.

Mary was leaning against a cabinet in the stuffy room. She was still wearing her Healer robe though Lily knew that her shift was over. However, Mary liked to linger around to make conversation in the changing room especially if she was there too. Her light blonde bushy hair was held back by at least ten hairclips and most probably a lot of magic as her mentor, Healer Spleen had something big against flowing hair. Lily heard a lot of stories of what caused the healer's hatred against anyone leaving their hair down, but most of those ideas were rather hard to believe. The most popular story involved a Hungarian Horntail, a pumpkin pie and a grumpy goblin.

Lily had nothing against the idea though because in No-Maj hospitals the same rule applied because of hygiene reasons. It always made Mary grumpy though, because her hair just never wanted to do what it was told – she washed her hair in Sleekeazy's Hair Potion, she always said. Luckily, Lily only needed a simple flick of her wand to have her hair in a high ponytail. It was only buns she had some issues with.

"Yeah – the guy was pretty hot," she replied as she checked her hair in the mirror. She saw the surprise in Mary's blue eyes thanks to the mirror. She turned around just as Mary squealed.

"Wait – wait... the guy you had sex with was pretty hot?" she asked like she couldn't believe Lily would ever do something like that. Lily couldn't help but look in the direction of the door anxiously, but Mary just shrugged.

"No one will come in – you know how Esther is, always about half an hour late at least," she said referring to an older trainee who was on the verge of becoming a qualified Healer and was supposed to spend the shift with Lily. "Melinda is already here – had to come early because one of the patients she looks after." Another trainee who was on the same shift that day.

"But what about Raymond? And Becca?" she asked Mary who had a wicked smile.

"Oh, just as I was to come here I saw him enter a supply closet with Rebecca. I'm sure he lasts more than five minutes." The two trainees who shared Mary's shift today had an on and off going relationship nobody ever understood, because Becca was always on the side of a professional Quidditch player and they have been dating since Hogwarts according to an interview with the couple in _Witch Weekly_. Mary came up with the theory that the player (Sebastian Boot) might have preferred boys to girls and kept Becca around for the image. Mary who knew Becca somewhat at Hogwarts said that Becca and Boot were always best friends but never seemed more to her and come to think of it, she never saw Boot with any girls.

Lily usually just liked to keep out of others' business. Not to mention that even after months back in Britain and being trained at Mungo's she often felt a bit out of place. Mary spoke about all of the other trainees like she had known them all her life even though she was a No-Maj-born – sorry, Muggle-born – just like Lily. Lily knew that Hogwarts was smaller than her own school, but still.

"Now, now – tell me about your hot and sweaty night?" Mary leaned forward with anticipation in her eyes. Lily sat down on one of the chairs in the middle of the room. Mary quickly joined her and turned towards her with a wide grin. "So?" Lily couldn't help, but blush.

"Well, I can't really say much – he was handsome, dark windblown hair, bright eyes, glasses and an easy smile. He had a nasty break-up too and wanted to just drink a bit, you know. But he left his wallet at home, so when I noticed the heartbroken expression on his face I invited him for a drink," Lily explained and Mary raised her eyebrows.

"Let me guess – one drink turned into two and then five only to end with drunken sex?" she asked and Lily nodded somewhat shyly. She was most certainly not a shy person, but she had a very long relationship with a guy she was sure she was going to marry, so she didn't have much experience with one-night stands or more precisely until last night she had none.

"Yeah, about right," she agreed.

"So, how was it? Are you going to meet him again or was this truly one-night type of thing?" Mary asked curiously, but before Lily could answer a familiar pair appeared in the door. Becca and Ray didn't seem like they put much effort in hiding what they were exactly doing in the supply cabinet as they looked rather dishevelled and bright-eyed.

"Oh, hey Lily, Mary," Becca said with a bright smile when she noticed them. Lily found it unfair that the girl didn't seem even a bit embarrassed that everyone knew what happened between her and Ray only minutes before. If only she was that easy-going...

The four of them started chatting about the new cases and what was happening at the hospital. Based on Ray's strange quietness and expression Lily had an idea that he was ready for round two just right there in the changing room so she gestured to Mary to hurry up and change and they left the two lovebirds alone. They both started laughing when they reached a more deserted part of the corridor.

"Well, at least they are most certainly experienced in contraceptive charms – that's never bad for future Healers, I guess," Mary said when they stopped laughing and Lily stilled.

She tried to remember back to the night before. She was fairly certain that she didn't perform the charm because she was afraid James would notice it. She remembered though that they used some No-Maj rubber barrier device she knew was called 'condom' which her apartment had plenty of because Jo couldn't use magical contraceptives. While she knew in theory what a condom was and how it worked it was the first time she ever used as before she only ever had a sexual relationship with one boy – a wizard. She was no pure-blood, she trusted No-Maj inventions, but she didn't trust random guys. How could she be certain that James applied it well or noticed if it was hurt?

"You okay, Lils?" Mary asked probably noticing that something upset her.

"Yeah, I just..." She looked around afraid of being heard. "I was with a No-Maj... I mean Muggle, yesterday, Mary. We did use a condom, you know, but this was the first time I ever had sex without using a charm and it makes me a bit nervous..." Lily confessed and Mary nodded suddenly seriously. Charms class was always one of Lily's best subject so she was always confident in her casting.

"Why not just take a Morning After Potion? You know that as long as we put it on record, we can use the potions from the Potions Supply. You are still in time, you have to drink it in thirty-six hours, I believe." Mary was right of course. With how exhausting the work could get at the hospital it was decided that as long as the employees registered their use of a potion, they could use any (of course under a normal limit). Most, of course, used simple healing potions for a cough or a bad cold, but officially everything could be used from the supply. The only restriction was that the potions couldn't be taken out of the hospital, so one couldn't just go home with a supply of every medical potion a family could need.

"I'm... I'm not sure that you know I want anyone who checks the register that I took a Morning After one. I will just buy a potion at an Apothecary or maybe brew one, though buying would be preferable because of the potion's time limit," she said, but Mary shook her head.

"Do you want to be out of time? Come, I will just write my name next to the potion. I don't really care what anyone thinks of me," Mary said simply and started pulling Lily in the direction of the Potions Supply. The room itself was big with hundreds and hundreds of potions in glass vials in an orderly fashion on long shelves. Mary knew her way around here a bit too well in Lily's opinion – when she voiced it as her friend gave her a vial of a strange pale blue liquid she shrugged.

"Ray was tasked with tagging and placing the new vials just a few days ago and you know how he is – helpless when it comes to potions so I helped him out. I really don't get how the guy was able to get an E for his Potions N.E.W.T. I still think he cheated somehow," Mary explained and Lily nodded. All the trainees knew well how bad Ray was when it came to potions, but his own mentor didn't seem to notice and that was how Ray could have ended up with a job least fitting him. To make it worse he asked the others never to mention his inability to any of the qualified Healers. Lily was glad Mary at least helped him out a bit. "Sadly, I had my own task to do, so I wasn't that much of a help, but Merlin, the guy really needed every bit of help he could get."

Once Mary signed the Registry and Lily drank the potion, she felt a whole lot better emotionally. She was most certainly calmer even though she noted a bitter aftertaste which she knew well she shouldn't have felt with a Morning After Potion. However, she thought it was just her nerves. The new Potion Master of Mungo's was none other than Severus Snape, Lily's childhood friend. If Lily knew one thing about Severus then it was that he was a potion genius. Maybe it was not even her nerves, but Sev developed a newer and better version of the potion and she just wasn't informed about it.

She thought about asking Mary, but she knew that her friend didn't like Snape very much (Lily learned her childhood friend was not always a gentleman at school) and she didn't care for potions much. While Mary with lots of studying was able to achieve an E on her N.E.W.T., it was certainly not her favourite class not unlike Ray. She was the type who was able to brew a potion she had to but just didn't have the extra knowledge to be able to change it up a bit.

"Thank you so much," she told Mary instead who just smiled and then she hugged her.

"It's really nothing. It's not like it's against the rules or something to take such a potion. Plus, you know that Spleen would make a fuss over my hair first rather than what potion I took." It was true.

Mary's mentor was rather peculiar. It was lucky that Mary – a very easy-going and patient girl – became his trainee, because very few could have tolerated him, especially at the beginning when he started shouting at Mary for the most random things. He had certain ideas and everything had to happen like he said when those matters were concerned (like tied-up hair, no jewellery, no pumpkin juice or no snacks between meals and so on) but he cared about nothing else. Mary actually said that it was pretty easy with Spleen because she learned all the points she actually had to pay attention to in a month or two and other than those she was free to do anything with hardly any supervision.

"If only Potter was like that," she joked. Her mentor, Healer Potter, was a friendly woman who by wizarding standards was not that old, but she was first surprised to hear that she had a son her age as she would have guessed a grandson instead. While she was nice and fair, she was very much by the rules when it came to the hospital and Lily didn't know her outside of it so she couldn't tell if the witch ever loosened up. Mary always said that Healer Potter reminded her of the Head of Gryffindor, her Hogwarts house, Professor McGonagall. Lily, of course, couldn't say as she didn't know the professor, but all the other trainees agreed instantly when Mary mentioned it. Lily then always felt a bit left out, she had to admit.

„Yeah – you tell me! When I learned that she was James' mother I could hardly believe it," Mary said with a grin and Lily froze for a moment at the name which was stupid, she knew as it was a very popular British name. Still, the night was still fresh on her mind.

"James Potter – you've mentioned him before. Wasn't he, like, a troublemaker at school?" she asked curiously. At first, when she realized how small and tight-knit the magical community was in Britain she kind of challenged herself with remembering everyone ever mentioned, but after a while, she gave up. She realized that she would never belong in a way the others did. In the States, she was a foreign No-Maj, a stranger. Here she was Muggle-born who didn't even attend Hogwarts, an oddity. She sometimes felt like she didn't belong to anywhere, really.

"Yes... but kind of brilliant as well. I know him pretty well as he and one of my best friends, Marlene, have been together for years. Things are a bit complicated now though... Anyways, he was a Gryffindor in the same year as we were. Now he plays professional Quidditch. He is very talented – on the national team as well," Mary explained as they left the supply room. Just as they opened the door they were faced with Healer Potter.

"Ah, Trainee Macdonald it's time for you to go home, you are in the way. Trainee Evans, we have work to do, I was just looking for you," Healer Potter said.

"Yes, of course, Healer Potter," Mary replied and Lily quickly turned towards Mary to say good-bye. They exchanged a quick hello and Mary winked at her as she left. Lily turned towards her mentor. Healer Potter probably had dark brown hair at one point, but now it was mostly grey. She wore her hair in a perfect bun which reminded Lily of Jo. She was fairly short, shorter than Lily and what Lily found the prettiest in the witch were her warm hazel eyes.

"Trainee Evans, I have a very important assignment for you. You are to spend all your shifts with our new patient, Mrs Anastasia Turner. She had a very serious potions accident and sadly was only found after many hours – her skin was practically eaten away by the acidic potion. It's a miracle she is alive. She will need constant medical attention and potions applied at specific hours, so you or Trainee Rackharrow or Trainee Strout will always have to be with her."

Indeed in the next two weeks, Lily hardly ever saw anyone else than Jo (at home), Healer Potter (when she checked on her), Becca and Ray (when they changed shift) and Mrs Turner (the patient). By the end of the second week, she was sick of the tedious routines she had to constantly do and by the non-stop chatter of Mrs Turner.

Even her date couldn't happen until Mrs Turner had left the hospital as Lily was given some extra shifts. Sadly, as she was only a trainee she couldn't really protest. Fortunately, Jo wasn't kidding – the guy was special, he was very understanding and suggested meeting exactly two weeks after she got the case of Mrs Turner.

She put much effort into her appearance. She charmed her hair into a loose and complicated bun Mary found her in _Witch Weekly_ , (and it took her not only an hour to get it right, but some other spells too) put on some make-up and chose a navy blue knee-length lace-dress. She even put on high-heels.

She quickly opened the door when he ringed the bell. Matt was just as handsome as Jo said – he was tall, broad-shouldered, blonde and blue-eyed. He had a bouquet of – lilies. She was never practically fond of them, mostly because of thanks to her name no one ever thought of even asking her what type of flowers she liked, but some of the lilies had scents she didn't particularly like either.

She had felt a bit under the weather the whole day, but it was not exactly surprising considering that she practically spent every waking minute in the hospital locked in a room with an annoying patient for the last fortnight. However, the moment he said hello and presented her the lilies she felt completely overwhelmed by the scent and she just couldn't help but... vomit... on his dressing shoes.

As Matt was a No-Maj she had long ago put her wand in her handbag knowing that she couldn't use it with him around on their date, but not being able to part with it. Now she had to frantically look for No-Maj cleaning products (which they hardly had in the apartment, because she undertook cleaning as she was handy with household spells) and tried to clean up the mess she did. She noted that while most of it landed on his black shoes, her own dress was not spared either and it was all over the floor as well. Even the sight made her queasier.

"I'm sorry – I'm so sorry," she said, again and again, feeling completely embarrassed. Unlike Jo, she had never thought that this guy might be her soul mate, but she still thought they could have a nice night out and maybe start an easy relationship. She was pretty sure she could never even show her face again to him after this though.

"It's... it's alright, really. I'm guessing lilies are not your favourites?" he joked half-heartedly as he started scrubbing his shoes with a tissue paper too.

"I-I must have eaten something bad... or got some stomach bug at the hospital I work at," Lily muttered not even caring that she and Jo agreed eventually that saying she was a nurse wouldn't work and instead invented some office work for her.

"Uh – if you are not feeling well, we could you know... reschedule it?" he asked awkwardly and she nodded gratefully. She had a feeling that the mentioned first date would never come, but even if indeed they agreed on another date, she needed a few days to forget that this had really happened. "I will take the flowers with me then." He left the apartment pretty quickly with a lame 'I will be in contact, bye!'

She felt nauseous for the next couple of hours. When Jo came home at around ten from the library she was surprised to see her.

"Was the date so bad you are already home?" she asked and Lily just shook her head.

"I never left." She explained rather awkwardly what happened and when Jo started laughing uncontrollably she blushed furiously. However, to her greatest surprise, Jo suddenly stopped it and looked at her with a serious and somewhat frightened look.

"Maybe you are a bit nauseous because your period is coming up? Mine was just last week, so yours has to come about now," she suggested, but her grave expression suggested something more serious than the monthly pain every woman had to deal with. Lily needed a moment to understand why Jo might behave like that, but then she shook her head.

"Don't worry – I used those No-Maj condoms you have and had a Morning After Potion at work so I can't be pregnant. It must be my period or maybe I had eaten something that didn't agree with my stomach," Lily explained and Jo visible relaxed.

"Oh, okay, I was just reading about pregnancy you know for one of my classes and read that while most start experiencing morning sickness around five and a half weeks, some have it as early as week four and well, that guy happened more than two weeks ago, so you could be four weeks pregnant," Jo explained simply.

"I'm not planning to bring here a baby just yet – I would throw you out first," she jested as a response and Jo was now laughing.

"It's too bad with Matt though. I could still have him for a night though, right?" Jo asked and then they started talking about how attractive Matt was and what other men they know they could have something casual or even serious relationship with. The pregnancy topic was completely forgotten. It was statistically impossible after all.


	3. The Investigation

**WARNING: In the next few chapters there will be mentions of abortion! If you are uncomfortable with the topic you might want to skip certain scenes. Write a PM or review and I can help with it!**

* * *

 **III. The Investigation**

 ** _10th December 1979, Monday_**

Lily already knew her day would be awful when she woke up and had to run to the loo to vomit. Even after she lost probably everything she had eaten the day before she felt sick to the stomach. She was sitting on the cool tiles of the small bathroom and thinking about how unfair it was that the second time in little less than a week she was vomiting. Her stomach was never the strongest, as a kid, she was often nauseous, but she thought she mostly grew out of it.

"You okay there, Lils?" She heard Jo's voice from outside the bathroom. She wondered if her roommate had seen her running for the loo or was just concerned that she heard Lily up and yet Lily hasn't greeted her yet.

"Sure, Jo. Good morning. Just had to use the bathroom," she called out cheerfully. Her roommate was a medical student which meant she loved over-analyzing everyone's health. Lily felt tired and sick so she really didn't feel like being told this morning that she was going to die next week in some gruesome manner. Okay, Jo wasn't that dramatic, but she was still worrying too much especially for someone who had direct access to any magical remedies. As far as Lily was concerned every No-Maj problem could be cured by magic and she was being trained to stop any magical diseases too. Really, a bit of vomiting was, of course, annoying (and could be very embarrassing, remembering The Matt Incident, yes, with capital letters), but nothing life-threatening.

"Okay, I made you some coffee – I gotta run. Prof Richards just loves early mornings." Lily said goodbye through the door and when she felt a bit better she left the bathroom. The lingering smell of vomit made her queasy so she picked up her wand and used every cleaning spell she could think of in the bathroom. When she thought that the place couldn't be cleaner, she left for the small kitchen only to stop dead.

The scent of the rich coffee she always loved sent her running back to the loo for another round of vomiting. She was getting a bit angry with the universe as she cleaned everything for the second time. She was also well aware that she was about ten days late. Her period was never exactly punctual, but with every day it was getting more and more frustrating. She knew that statistically speaking there was no chance of her being pregnant as both the condom and the potion meant nearly perfect protection and together they had to work, but until she would receive her monthly she couldn't stop thinking about the impossible being possible. The fact that Jo seemed to ask about it every day and eyed her warily when she said it didn't happen yet, didn't help either.

Her day didn't improve at all. It should have been a great day as for the first time in many weeks she shared her shift with Mary. However, just as they were chatting and changing the sheets in a hospital room Mary's mentor appeared with an uncomfortable expression on his face.

Healer Spleen was a short and stick-looking man with a tuft of white hair, a goatee and beady eyes.

"Trainee Macdonald, I need you for a moment – mandatory physical examination," he said with disdain on his wrinkly face as he was looking at Mary. Lily had no idea what this was about and looked at Mary who seemed just as lost.

"Of course, Healer Spleen," she agreed, but she wasn't the type to follow instructions without questions. "May I ask what this is about? I don't think we were informed about being checked again." The employees of the hospital were frequently checked for multiple No-Maj and magical maladies, but those examinations were announced at least days before they happened. Mary told Lily previously that since she started her training there not once was there any on the spot examinations as those were reserved when some hospital-wide infection was assumed and thanks to the hygiene and warding steps every employee had to take, it happened only very rarely.

"I'm sorry Trainee Macdonald, but the hospital's management asked me not to give out any information as long as the investigation is on-going," the wizard replied and Lily felt even more puzzled. Mary just nodded and sent a weak smile in Lily's direction.

"Will I be needed as well?" Lily asked curiously, but hitting a polite tone. Healer Spleen looked at the parchment in his hands and then he shook his head.

"No, Trainee Evans – please continue your work." Then Lily was left alone. Mary was back in about ten minutes and she looked rather thoughtful. Without even prompting she started explaining what happened knowing Lily well enough that she wanted to know every last detail.

"I wasn't told anything. Healer Potter just sliced my finger, had some drops of blood taken and then healed the injury. I tried to question her, but you know how she is – she told me that she can't say anything at the moment, but if I'm involved in the matter in a way then I will be contacted and told what's going on, questioned even, whatever 'involved' means," she explained with a frown.

Lily was just then restocking the linens in the cupboard of the room. As a trainee, they had to do all the jobs the qualified healers didn't want after all.

"Have you done anything out of ordinary recently? Did you have maybe a strange case you aren't sure you handled well? Or did you break the rules in some way?" Lily asked curiously while charming a sheet to fold itself as she was always bad in folding the No-Maj way. Mary just shrugged as she leaned against the cupboard not even bothering to help as she was probably still pondering on what has just happened, her thoughts occupied with the strange occurrence instead of the best way of folding sheets.

"Not really – it has been all pretty standard stuff lately, boring actually. And while I was a Gryffindor I'm usually pretty by-rules, you know it. The only time I can remember where I did something I wasn't told to, was when I helped Ray with potion stocking up, but that was nearly a month ago and believe me – my help was needed, they should thank me for it!" Mary replied.

Just as Mary pretty much asked for it, their job got much busier. Lily supposed it was because of the upcoming holidays. It seemed to her that she saw the entire British magical community in the next two weeks. She was utterly exhausted every day and she felt constantly queasy, but she didn't vomit at all which calmed her down especially as nausea could have been the simple result of all the gruesome cases she had seen – some she simply didn't have the imagination to understand how they could have even happened. She knew that she wasn't the only trainee to look constantly green. She noticed Becca looked deathly pale with a hint of yellowish green too and she even sometimes just sprinted to the closest loo.

However, she did feel a bit upset about her still missing period, even if it was not the first time something like that happened to her. Combined with her nausea it did scream 'pregnancy' even if Lily found it completely impossible. Still, a traitorous part of her mind reminded her that she could just drive away all her worries and doubts if she took a test and yet she didn't. She guessed that deep down she must have feared that even that impossibly small chance of it happening proved right.

As a trainee Lily hardly got any time off for the Christmas holiday so her original idea to go back to the States couldn't happen. Jo was hesitant then to do the same, but Lily assured her that she should go. Jo's family was very accepting of her lack of magic and while they understood why Jo chose to study England far away from them, they were always happy to see her. Camille – Jo's sister and Lily's best friend – didn't want Lily to spend the holidays alone, but Lily convinced her to stay in the States too when she learned her friend had a new boyfriend who wanted her to meet his family during Christmas.

Mary, her only close English friend was really upset when she learned that Lily was planning to spend her holiday alone.

"Come on, it's Christmas!" she complained and Lily shrugged as they were walking down the corridor of the hospital in the direction of their next assigned room a few days before Christmas.

"My sister is not exactly comfortable with my magic. She also told me that she wants to spend the holiday with her new husband's family and I would be just in the way," Lily simply said. "It's not like I don't have much work to do – you know that I was assigned lots of shifts." Mary just rolled her eyes.

"You practically asked for them," Mary accused her and Lily shrugged.

"Well, all the other trainees had families to spend the holidays with so it made sense to sign up for some of the more critical dates." It really didn't upset Lily as much as it seemed it did everyone else – Jo and Camille pretty much wanted to drag her to the States too.

"If only you were not so freaking kind to everyone and asked for some more leave like the rest of us you could have gone to the States too and then you would have a family to spend it with as well," Mary replied angrily, but Lily once again just shrugged.

"I really like the Beauvais family – you know how much I adore both Camille and Jo, but they are still not my family and I don't want to be a burden for them. Petunia is my only family and she doesn't want to do much with me," Lily answered truthfully. It had been plaguing her mind for some time. She had Jo, Camille and Mary and even a few other friends among the other trainees, but she sometimes still felt completely alone with her parents being dead and Petunia ignoring her. Mary looked at her with pity clear in her light blue eyes.

"Oh, come on, Lils – why don't you just crash at mine? My parents would adore you and my brothers would be totally in love with you. Matt is actually studying medicine at the same place as Jo... Hmm, I never thought of asking them if they knew each other come to think of it," Mary pondered and Lily looked at her with alarm. Surely there were other students called Matt at that university and while she couldn't remember Matt's surname she was fairly certain Jo would have mentioned if it was Macdonald, right?

"Wait is Matt older than you by any chance? Is he blonde and blue-eyed too?" she asked awkwardly. Surely it was all just a coincidence. Mary nodded making Lily a bit alarmed.

"Yeah, that's right – Jo mentioned him?" she asked curiously and Lily frowned.

"Is his surname Macdonald too?" she asked curiously, but Mary just shook her head.

"Nah, his dad was my Mum's first husband who was a police officer and died in some shooting – just before she had Matt. My Dad who was my Mum's friend and colleague around that time started helping her out with Matt. They fell in love pretty quickly, got married and had me. My Dad often brought up changing Matt's surname to Macdonald, but my Mum felt that they shouldn't do it to honour Matt's real father," she explained. Lily had, of course, heard before that Mary had an older brother and a younger brother – neither magical. However, it was usually small stuff she mentioned like how her younger brother annoyed her or how her older one was completely smitten by a girl who was not good enough for her and then she broke his heart. She didn't even know that Mary's older brother was just a half-brother. When she voiced that thought Mary just smiled.

"I rarely think of him like that, you know. He might have a different last name, but that doesn't make him less of my brother. He was always so supportive and accepting of my oddities you know – when I got my Hogwarts letter he was the most enthusiastic. Sometimes I think he knows more about the wizarding world than I know and I'm a witch," Mary said and Lily felt like her head was spinning. It seemed that not only did she throw up on Mary's brother's shoes, but he was also more than aware of magic existing so he could have been the perfect boyfriend.

To make it worse she had been ignoring him. To her greatest surprise, Matt really seemed to try to reschedule their date, but she pretended she never heard of him and that one time never happened. Awkward. Now there was no way she was ready to spend her Christmas with a boy she vomited on and then stood up.

She wasn't about to tell all of this to Mary, simply because she just wanted to forget the whole incident and because suddenly she felt really ill. She excused herself telling Mary that she needed to sit down a bit and told her that she would think about the offer – never.

She sat down in the trainee's staff room. It was a small room with an uncomfortable couch where they could lie down, some chairs and a desk with heaps of parchments they should go through all concerning cases they were assigned to. The trainees usually used their changing room though for relaxation, because that was more out of the way while this was connected to the senior staff's room. This also meant that sometimes one could hear what the healers were talking about as they seemed to forget privacy charms quite frequently. Lily sometimes wondered why not one of them ever thought about them. Did they forget that the trainees existed or what?

"Four cases, four! And one among our own staff – a trainee! My trainee!" The voice was familiar, but she couldn't say which one of the healers it was.

"And you are going to punish my trainee for it?" another replied. This was more familiar, she was fairly certain it was Ray's mentor's voice. What had Ray done?

"It is all his fault!" the previous healer cried out. Lily couldn't help, but stand up and move closer to the door. She needed to know what was going on as she was certain it had something to do with the investigation Mary was involved in but never told about.

"Silence, you fool – no wards are up," Ray's mentor replied and after that Lily couldn't hear anything else. Obviously, someone did remember that magic could keep noises out.

In the end, Lily convinced Mary to just celebrate with her family and she was going to be okay. She had to lie a bit and pretend that Petunia changed her mind and even if she wasn't going to spend the entire holiday with family, Christmas Day would be spent with Petunia and her husband Vernon. She knew that if Mary later questioned her, she could easily make up some believable stories about the day she spent with the Dursleys. She hated lying to one of her closest friends, but she just felt too bad to spend days in awkwardness.

With work and on her rare days off staying in bed with a book and eating lots of rather unhealthy food, Christmas was over before it even began and even the New Year had started. She was feeling under the weather constantly for the last month so she decided to skip New Year's Eve. To make sure that her friends wouldn't just force her to go to a party she organized to be assigned the night shift. As most wanted to go partying everyone seemed happy with her choice – other than Jo and Mary who were on her case.

"What's up with you? It's like all you do recently is work, sleep and mope around," Mary accused her a few days before New Year. Lily just muttered something about not having any party spirit, but Mary was more stubborn than Lily would have liked.

"It's like you are depressed... Is it still about the jerk? Surely you've realized you are better off without him?" Mary questioned her, but Lily just shook her head which was a bad idea because she suddenly felt a bit light-headed.

"No, it's just..." Lily never had to finish her sentence as she had to run to the closest bathroom at that moment and Mary came to the conclusion that Lily must have some lingering but not strong illness so she started stuffing her with basic healing potions saying that no Muggle illness could keep a witch down.

Things got worse when Lily started doing some maths after New Year and realized that she missed another period (as the second one should have been on 28th December). It happened before that she missed one (or practically anyway with about fifty days in-between two), but never two in a row. Jo even stopped asking and just looked at her suspiciously every day. She knew then that she should let someone at the hospital examine her. She was adamant that she couldn't be pregnant but surely something was going on with her as she had many symptoms and Mary's potions weren't working either, her state wasn't improving.

She decided to speak with Healer Potter first as she was her mentor and Lily knew that the witch was a very experienced healer. It was an easy afternoon on the 5th of January, a Saturday. She was in an examination room with her mentor who was doing some paperwork occasionally involving her as well. Her mind had been on the matter for quite some time, but she just couldn't form the question she had. Her mentor seemed to have noticed how distracted she was when she couldn't answer a fairly simple question involving a case she was familiar with.

"Are you feeling well, Trainee Evans?" she was asked. Lily shook her head. Healer Potter turned around on the chair to face Lily who was sitting next to her on another one. She put down the quill and pushed the parchment away.

"What is the problem, dear?" Lily was pretty sure that this was the first time since she has joined the hospital that Healer Potter used such informal and endearing term with her as 'dear'. "I've noticed myself that you have been feeling a bit down. I thought it was some personal issues, maybe heartbreak – was I wrong?" she asked and Lily hesitated for a moment then nodded again. Healer Potter looked at her curiously, but Lily felt like she couldn't talk, bile was rising in her throat too and wondered if she should run for it or it would pass without another embarrassing incident.

"I've been feeling sick to my stomach, fatigue also and I missed two periods," she muttered and then Healer Potter looked at her with recognition lighting up her eyes which Lily hated – obviously after such symptoms the first thing that came into the healer's mind had to pregnancy. Healer Potter opened her mouth to say so probably but Lily cut her off.

"Pregnancy is out of the question – I was only with one No-M... I mean Muggle and he used a Muggle contraceptive device called condom the one time I had intercourse with. In several months, since I've moved to Britain, really that was the only time I was sexually active. I also had a Morning After Potion the next day keeping to the time frame strictly," the moment she said those words Healer Potter stilled and looked at her with pity Lily really didn't like.

"When was this?" she asked and Lily only needed a little time to know the answer as recently she had been thinking about the dates a lot.

"A day or two before the 20th November, I believe," she replied thinking through again the dates. Healer Potter was silent for a long moment as if she was doing the same thing.

"You took a potion from the Potions Supply, didn't you?" she asked and Lily nodded awkwardly knowing that she wasn't on the Registry. To her surprise, Healer Potter seemed to know the same thing as well.

"Your name wasn't included in the Registry," she said with an accusing look. Lily couldn't grasp how her boss could know that out of the blue, on the spot. She didn't want to write her name there in case someone just looked at the list or checked it for a reason, but it never occurred to her that anyone would look for her name there.

"I-I'm sorry... The whole... intercourse... it was a bit of a mistake on my part and when I remembered that I couldn't use contraceptive charms because of the Statute of Secrecy another trainee reminded me of the stock of potions and urged me to take one... I was embarrassed by the whole thing though and didn't want anyone to know what happened..." Lily tried to explain, but she was cut off.

"But no potion was missing from the stock." Lily shook her head and felt hot tears escaping her eyes.

"The same trainee wrote her name there instead – she told me she didn't care what anyone would think and we didn't think it would cause any trouble, one trainee or another, the same really, both of us had the same rights after all," Lily replied with tears now openly falling down her cheeks. Healer Potter was shaking her head.

"There was a malpractice..." she started and Lily froze seeing the apologetic and sympathetic look the older witch was giving her. Surely Healer Potter couldn't mean that the potion she drank didn't work and there really was a small chance she was pregnant? It would be still highly unlikely after all they used another way of contraceptives as well. Not to mention that Severus was really not one to make mistakes when potions where potions were concerned.

"I don't understand," Lily said truthfully and now Healer Potter had a torn look.

"A trainee was assigned the task of labelling the newly brewed potions – he switched up two similar looking types of potions," she explained and Lily now remembered how she found the taste of the potion strange. There was a bitterness there that shouldn't have been, but she just told herself that Severus knew perfectly what he was doing. A horrible thought occurred to her: a similar looking potion with a different taste was – a Fertility Potion. No, that couldn't be!

"W-what potions?" Her voice was barely above a whisper. Again Healer Potter looked at her with sympathy.

"The Morning After Potions and the Fertility Potions – they look quite similar because the basics of the two are the same. It's not hard to switch them if someone is not an expert in Potions," Healer Potter said and now Lily really felt sick to her stomach. She jumped up, but she couldn't reach even the door, she vomited all over the floor. Then with shaking legs, she sat down on the floor, her knees not bearing her own weight and started sobbing.

"I-I... 'M... I'm pr-preg-n-nant, then... aren't I?" she asked between two waves of tears. Her mentor vanished the foul-smelling evidence from the floor with a wave of her wand and then to Lily's greatest surprise she sat down right next to Lily on the cold floor.

"I believe so, my dear, I'm sorry. I believe you are actually around nine weeks already," Healer Potter answered softly. "It's not the end of the world, my dear. You are a Muggle-born and a Healer trainee – you know that there are many ways to end a pregnancy. If you were against such methods you could always give the baby to someone who can't have one." Lily knew all that of course. She had seen the recipe of some rather gruesome potions she was sure were considered dark magic ending pregnancy with lots of pain involved and heard about the No-Maj practice of abortion which had been legal in Britain for nearly a decade now (though there were constant movements to stop it) and in many states in the US too.

Lily's right hand found its way through the robe at the area under her navel and she noted with a shudder that it was definitely firmer than usual. While she always put the thought of being pregnant out of her mind saying it was impossible, during the Christmas break she found herself reading some of Jo's textbooks on the topic. She told herself that simply it fascinated her and that it would help with her career in healing if she understood the anatomy of it all, the No-Maj perspective too, but she now understood that deep down she already knew that this was all a possibility. She knew that her uterus has doubled in size and it was now about the size of a tennis ball, her waist was thickening because there was a baby there in her stomach.

"You don't even have to decide anything just yet – though if you decide to have the baby we will have to work out your training programme because many of the substances we use are not exactly healthy for the baby," her mentor explained and Lily nodded numbly.

"So-so it's certain I'm... pregnant?" she asked though she already knew the answer. Healer Potter looked at her with those wide hazel eyes of hers again and then she stood up.

"I think it will do some good for your mental health if we just confirm it with a Pregnancy Potion. I will be back in a minute." Lily just sat there staring in front of her, her right hand firmly around the firmer part of her stomach as if she was touching it enough, it would just be as soft as before.

Healer Potter was back before Lily even noticed her absence. When her mentor asked for her hand Lily just put her left in the healer's own palm while her right still rested upon her firm abdomen. She felt a sudden pain and she looked up to see her index finger dripping with blood – the drops making their ways in a light yellow potion which became an intense blue with every drop. Before she could even comprehend what was happening her finger was already healed, Healer Potter let go of her hand and the potion in the vial was vibrant blue.

Lily knew well that if she wasn't pregnant the potion wouldn't have changed colour at all, it would have stayed a nearly colourless light yellow. Such vibrant blue meant that indeed a baby was nestled in her stomach. When she closed her eyes wanting to escape the sight all she could think about was the intense blue colour. Healer Potter was now stroking her back gently as she was once again shaking with sobs.

"It's going to be alright, my dear. You have many options – that baby is no bigger than a grape now." It was the wrong thing to say and Lily's sobbing increased.

"It's-it's the si-size of a grape already?" she asked hardly finding the breath to even say a word. Healer Potter nodded.

"Do you want me to tell you more about the baby's current development?" To her own surprise, she nodded. She supposed knowing exactly what was happening in her body would help her accept that she was really pregnant and she had a baby on the way. Healer Potter then told her that by nine weeks all essential body parts were accounted for. The baby was nearly an inch long and had a beating heart. The baby had fully-developed but shut eyes, tiny earlobes, mouth, nose and even nostrils. It was essentially a real baby no matter how small.

She didn't question her mentor how she knew all that (Lily was fairly certain that was more No-Maj knowledge than magical and Mary told her Healer Potter was a pure-blood), instead, her mind was focused on everything she heard. It was a baby – her baby.

A sudden realization set in: "You-you have known about the malpractice for quite a while now, haven't you? That's why Mary's blood was needed – the hospital thought she might be pregnant because her name was in the Registry." Suddenly it all made sense and even the small bit of conversation she overheard. Ray was the one responsible for all of this and she was not the only one in the current predicament.

The healer nodded firmly. "Yes. There are some witches who prefer the potions of our hospital to one they brew or brought at the Apothecary. Imagine our surprise when three witches came back saying that the Morning After potion they received here might not have worked because they missed their period which was always on time and their homemade or bought Pregnancy Potion declared them pregnant – obviously we started an investigation and realized one of our own is in the same predicament too." She looked at Lily and Lily suddenly remembered telling herself quite often that it was okay to feel nauseous and tired with all the work before Christmas because Becca was faring even worse...

"Becca," she muttered and her mentor nodded again.

"Yes, during our investigation every staff member who took one of the potions according to the Registry was tested and Trainee Strout was indeed confirmed to be with child." Lily's head was spinning with all the information she had learned. "You should lay down a bit, my dear." The healer pointed towards the examination bed.

"Thank you," Lily muttered half-heartedly and her mentor helped her standing up as Lily was hardly able to stand. She was escorted to the bed and she lay down on it her right hand still on her lower abdomen.

"It's going to be okay, my dear. There are many couples – Muggles and magical ones too – who would love a baby if you decide to have it but give it up for adoption. You know, my husband and I nearly adopted one too when a miracle that was my son happened. We basically adopted his best friend later on anyways," she said with a smile and by the end, she chuckled. As Lily laid down she smiled half-heartedly.

"It's not that I don't want a baby you know – it's just... A few months ago I was imagining my wedding to a man I thought I was madly in love with. Then he broke up with me suddenly saying that my family was not prestigious enough for him and I was dumb enough to try to drink away my sorrow only to have sex with a random stranger resulting in a pregnancy. Who wants to tell that to their kid?" Lily started vehemently only to end her monologue with a soft murmur and then a sigh. She started stroking her stomach with her right hand. There was no definite bump, not even a swell, but Lily was certain she noticed a difference. To her surprise, her mentor didn't turn back to her work instead she was now stroking Lily's hair like her mother did when she was upset. At that moment Lily felt the absence of her mother more than ever since that awful car crash.

"If you decide to keep the baby my dear the child won't keep his conception against you, I assure you. If you love the baby, he will just love you back. Yes, he might wonder one day where his father was, but just because he wasn't planned doesn't mean he can't be loved." This was the first time since Lily had met Healer Potter that she realized that the witch indeed had a much softer side than what she usually showed at work.

Before she could answer though, the door opened to the examination room without a knock. Lily didn't look in the direction, but Healer Potter obviously did, because she said in surprise: "Ah, James!"


	4. The Father

**IMPORTANT: Some people might not like James's and Sirius's reaction in this chapter and might even find them OOC. However, remember that this story is an AU. This Sirius and James don't know Lily and grew up in peace, so they are more immature than they would be in canon in 1980. They react as most 19-year-olds would in a similar situation in my opinion.**

* * *

 **IV. The Father**

 ** _5th January 1980, Saturday_**

James confidentially opened the door of an examination room where his mother was currently just doing some paperwork according to the Welcome Witch. However, the sight that awaited him was different from what he expected. His mother was in her usual Healer robes with her hair high in a bun just as he expected but she wasn't sitting by the desk, but instead, she was standing by the examination bed and she was stroking the hair of a young redhead wearing a similar outfit. The redheaded witch didn't look in his direction at the noise, but his mother did.

"Ah, James!" she exclaimed.

"I didn't know you were with patient... The Welcome Witch told me –" he started explaining, but his mother waved him off. The young lying witch sat up suddenly and their eyes met. To James' surprise, the witch was very familiar to him, but he just couldn't place where he knew her from. Obvious recognition was expressed on her face too though it didn't mean as much as anyone in Britain interested in Quidditch would know his face. Not to mention that while his family was never really famous or infamous with his grandfather a well-known pro-Muggles politician, his father as a popular potioneer and inventor and now him as a Quidditch player, the Potters in the recent generations became more and more recognizable.

"This is not a patient, my dear – this is my current trainee, Miss Lily Evans. Trainee Evans this is my son, James Potter," his mother introduced them. James was just about to step closer to offer his hand when the girl who then had to be around his age jumped up and ran out of the room with her right hand fixed on her mouth. The pity on his mother's face was obvious.

"She is sick?" James asked curiously looking in the direction of the door the girl had just disappeared. His mother didn't answer which increased his curiosity. "Shouldn't you... I don't know, check on her?" he asked but she just shook her head.

"It's nothing serious, just some morning sickness," she said and then frowned when she realized she shouldn't have answered the question. "Me and my big mouth... She might not be my official patient James, but she is my trainee so please understand her need for privacy. She is not some interesting gossip, let it be enough that she is okay and doesn't need my help." But James shook his head.

"No, it's just – she seems familiar so I was curious if she was okay," he said simply. His mother stepped away from the bed-like examination table. She faced him with the same eyes he had and raised her eyebrows.

"You are the same age, but I don't think you have ever met her as she has just moved back from the States so she didn't attend Hogwarts," she replied and James nodded.

"Must be my mistake and she just reminds me of someone then," he said, though a part of him was sure he had met Lily Evans before. Then he stilled – Lily. Lily. Lily. The name brought back some amused liquor-filled thoughts and ponderings about how such a delicate name suggesting a breakable and pure white flower could belong to a fiery temptress. He groaned, as he closed his eyes and he remembered the feeling of tiny hands under his shirt working their magic and the sight of dark red locks of hair spreading over the white sheets like waves of blood. There was also the memory of vivid green eyes shining brightly from alcohol.

Surely he was not the most unlucky guy on Earth and he didn't just run into his one-night stand at his mother's work? Then he paled and his eyes widened comically. His mother said the girl was feeling ill because she had morning sickness. Didn't morning sickness equal with pregnancy and – a baby?

"She is p-pregnant?" he asked with a trembling voice and his mother frowned.

"I told you to forget about what you have witnessed, it's none of your business, she is perfectly healthy. The poor girl has more than enough problems without you asking questions about her personal life and health," she told him off but she didn't deny it. Really, he was being stupid, what else could 'morning sickness' indicate? However, he didn't like the indications at all – no. He must be imagining things. There was no way that this Lily was the same one he had sex with as that girl was obviously a Muggle. He had been in her flat after all and it was a very Muggle place. Though his stomached hurled when he remembered that he thought the girl he was flirting with had an American accent.

"Is she a Muggle-born?" he asked as casually as he was able at the moment because that could explain her flat. However, his mother now looked pissed off. She crossed her arms and looked at him with an angry expression.

"What's with all these questions about the girl, James?" she asked, but he just shook his head.

"Please just answer me, Mum," he nearly pleaded and hesitantly she nodded.

"She is. But why are you so interested in her? I thought you and Marlene had decided to give another try. I mean Lily is obviously a very beautiful girl, but I don't think she would be interested in dating now as she has more than enough on her plates with a baby on the way," she answered and he just shook his head.

"No – I mean, yes, Marlene and I are dating," he replied softly and his mother nodded uncertainly.

"Care to tell me then what's going on? Also, I thought you are only coming when my shift ended?" she asked and he shook his head.

"I need to speak to – err, Lily, right now. Do you know where I could find her?" he asked and now his mother was looking at him suspiciously.

"In the name of Merlin, please tell me, son, what is going on here." Her voice was soft which was worse than if she was shouting James knew it well. He always hated this accusing tone more than the shouting, because this spoke of a deeper hurt. If she shouted she was just angry with him, if used that tone she felt hurt by what he had done. He hated hurting his mother.

"Err – how pregnant is she?" he asked somewhat awkwardly and he noticed that understanding dawned on her. Her lips parted and her eyes were wide. He guessed his questions were not exactly subtle and his mother was always a smart witch. Sometimes James really hated how logical Ravenclaws were.

"She told me that she has been with only one man in recent months so if by some coincidence you believe that might be you then I would suggest waiting for her here." Her voice was cold and it somewhat lacked emotions.

"Mum –" he started but she just shook her head.

"I thought that you were smarter than that, Jamie," she said and she left the room. He followed her hesitantly, but by the time he reached the corridor, she was nowhere in sight. He sighed. He caught the eyes of someone he knew though.

"Hi James, I didn't know you were coming here. Is Marlene around here too?" Mary Macdonald approached him. She was in his year in Gryffindor and shared a dorm with Marlene becoming best friends pretty much the day they met not unlike what happened with his own roommates. The two of them were friendly with each other, but she was more like his girlfriend's best friend than his own friend.

"Nah, it's just me, she is still working. It's my Mum's birthday. We are celebrating it tomorrow evening as she won't work on Sunday, but I wanted to stop by to greet her on her special day too," he explained not quite knowing how his brain was able to function enough to answer with so many mind-blowing pieces of information shocking it. He also realized that he pissed his mother off, implied to her that she might become a grandmother but he didn't even say 'Happy birthday!' Great, he was an amazing son, he thought sarcastically.

"Oh, I didn't know that. I would love to chat and it was nice to see you, but sadly I have work to do," Mary said and without thinking, James stopped her as she said good-bye.

"Wait!" She turned around and looked at him curiously.

"Yes?" she asked and he hesitated not knowing if he really should ask her. He decided to lie a bit.

"The last time one of my teammates was here he mentioned a beautiful redheaded healer trainee he really liked. Do you have any idea who that might be?" Mary wasn't that much into Quidditch and she didn't know his team at all he believed so he hoped that she wouldn't question him about this so-called teammate, just answer him. She looked surprised, but she nodded.

"Sure, she is actually your mother's trainee and a good friend of mine. Her name is Lily Evans. She isn't dating anyone at the moment if that's why your friend is interested," she said with a grin and James nodded numbly. So, she didn't have anyone. Was there a possibility that she wasn't lying to his mother and he really was the only one she had been with? Could she actually be pregnant with his baby? Surely if she had a one-night stand with him then she could have with others? An annoying voice in his mind reminded him that she was the only for him, so it was not impossible to only do it just once.

"What is she like?" he couldn't help, but ask. Mary smiled.

"She is very friendly, hard-working and studious, but she has quite the temper. Kind of like how Remus would be as a fiery redhead," she replied with a grin and James couldn't help but laugh. "Should I warn Marlene though that you are asking after pretty witches?" Mary teased him and James stiffened.

"Yeah – I need to go too, you know. It was nice to meet you, Mary. Bye," he said awkwardly and left the hospital as soon as possible.

The moment he arrived home which was actually Sirius' couch for the last two months he felt like he shouldn't be there and no matter what he started doing, his mind wandered. He couldn't stop thinking of a pair of green eyes and the frightened surprise he saw in them. He was now sure that she didn't just recognize him because he was a Quidditch player. Come to think of it if she just moved to Britain a couple of months ago there was a huge chance she didn't even care for Quidditch much as in the States it was far from the most popular magical sport, he knew well. No, she must have remembered him from their night back in November.

Was she waiting for him back at St Mungo's? Did she think that he would be around to talk with her about this... situation? He couldn't even think about the so-called 'situation' – every time his mind wandered in that dangerous direction, it suddenly shut down and became completely blank.

"Hey Prongs, what are you doing here? I thought I won't see you today. Didn't you say you are going to Marlene's at five? It's nearly six." Sirius stepped out of the fireplace which roared to life with green flames but James hardly noticed it. He was sitting on the same sofa he first sat down when he arrived home. Sirius must have understood that something was amiss because he sat down right next to him.

"Please don't tell me you and Mrs Prongs had some quarrel again! I'm getting sick of the two of you, you know," Sirius said dramatically, but James just couldn't reply. How could he ever just voice his thoughts? How could he tell Sirius that he probably knocked up a Muggle girl? A girl who turned out to be his mother's healer trainee – not Muggle at all! Sirius didn't even know about that night, only Marlene knew and it was something that still caused tension between them even though it was Marlene who told him to have sex with someone else. Marlene... Merlin! How could he ever tell Marlene about Lily's... err, condition? No, not Lily, that was just too personal, he thought. He didn't know the girl whether he had sex with her or not. She was only ever to be referred to as Evans, he decided.

"Something-something happened on the night of Frank's bachelor party," James started explaining quietly. People always said start from the beginning when you didn't know how to tell something, right? It all certainly started that night. Sirius was confused for a long moment which didn't surprise James – his best mate certainly suffered from a hangover the next day. He must have had more to drink than even James. A bitter part of James then thought that it was unfair that Sirius still didn't knock up anyone, certainly not someone being mentored by his own mother.

"Yeah, you ran off being all whiny about Marly and got trashed at a Muggle pub, I sort of remember it – man, that was a night," Sirius said after a minute or two. James nodded slowly.

"But there was also a girl," he said softly and Sirius perked up.

"Wait – you shagged a girl and Marly found out about it? Merlin, Prongs! Why didn't you tell me about it? Please tell me she was hot! Surely Marlene can't be that upset. After all, she was the one who said it would do some good for you!" James just shook his head softly and Sirius pouted.

"You didn't shag her?" he asked as if James betrayed him.

"I did," he said and Sirius frowned.

"What's the problem then? Did you just remember how awful she looked? I mean I would get that, it happened to me before too! When you are not under the effect of alcohol sometimes they look a whole lot worse –" James just couldn't take his friend's rambling anymore and he pretty much shouted in the face of Sirius: "SHE IS PREGNANT, YOU GIT!"

Sirius stilled and looked at James with wide eyes. "Please tell me she is pregnant with impatience to get into your pants again or something like that." James just laughed humourlessly.

"No – she is pregnant with a kid, Pads and according to Mum, my kid," he trembled. He was shaking with emotions. This wasn't supposed to happen – no, he had The Plan. Marlene was supposed to say yes to him, and then they would have been engaged probably for about a year, maybe a bit more if they got caught up in their careers and wedding planning, there was no need to rush after all. They could have their wedding around twenty or twenty-one and be together just for a few years, maybe start thinking of children around twenty-four or twenty-five and have three by thirty, preferably at least one of each gender. Instead, here he was at nineteen with probably a child on the way from a one-night stand and his girlfriend (who didn't want to marry him) knew nothing of it.

It seemed he lost Padfoot as his friend just stared in front of him not unlike how James was when he arrived home. The two of them sat like that on the sofa for about half an hour when to James' greatest surprise Sirius spoke.

"How does your Mum fit into this picture?" he asked softly and James couldn't help but start laughing hysterically. Because really it was such an impossible situation it was actually highly entertaining. If this happened to anyone else it would be a funny and interesting story. Statistically speaking this was just not supposed to happen, but then again, there was always a chance, he guessed.

"It turns out the girl isn't a Muggle but my mother's trainee," he replied with a grimace and Sirius jumped up and started saying random profanities. James just sat there and tried to think of anything other than his possible impending fatherhood, but he was simply not able to.

"Fuck – fuck – fuck! How could you just fuck up your life like that, Prongs?" Sirius turned towards him and this time James was angry. He jumped up from the sofa and faced his best mate whose usually perfect hair was sticking up at some places and whose grey eyes were shooting lightning at the moment – or at least it seemed like that to James.

"You encouraged me to have a one-night stand!" he blurted out because he found it unfair that Sirius behaved like he somehow messed it up. It bloody wasn't his fault that the entire universe seemed to be against him! Other guys had countless one-night stands and were constantly cheating on their wives and girlfriends with no such consequences while he had sex once with a stranger when he was single and the girl turned up pregnant at his mother's office. It was just so not fair! Someone Up There was certainly laughing at him now.

"Well, I thought you knew how to use contraceptive spells," Sirius barked and James crossed his arms.

"I thought she was a Muggle, okay! Plus we did use some sort of Muggle protection, I'm sure of it – though obviously either it's not foolproof or we messed up because since then I realized that probably none of us could use it well. I mean neither of us is a Muggle though she is a Muggle-born so maybe she knew what she was doing..." James explained hastily. He was rambling. He sighed then, but Sirius still seemed pissed off.

"Well, tough luck mate – but surely if she had a one-night stand with you then she could have with ten other men! How can you know that it's your kid?" he asked and James hesitated. Sirius was right in a way. Evans might not have been a Quidditch fan, but she was obviously a friend of Mary. How could he know that Evans didn't realize that he was no Muggle? With his mother as Evans's mentor surely Mary mentioned him a few times. Evans could have worked it out that around the time of conception the two of them were actually together. Who else was a better Baby Daddy than a pure-blood Quidditch star from not only old family but money as well? His father's hair potion was widely known and used so one didn't need to be a genius to realize that the Potter family wasn't struggling with money problems.

"Well, she told my mother that she was only with one man, but I don't actually know if it's true now that I come to think of it," he replied a bit hesitantly. He didn't want to pretend that none of this was happening, but Sirius had a good point. However, if she really realized who he was then why didn't she just turn up at his door and told him of her predicament? Even his mother didn't know he was going to be at St Mungo's that afternoon after all. Or was she planning to do just that but tried to involve his mother first so she could ensnare him? His head was spinning from all the possibilities.

"Well, there are paternity spells and potions I believe, but I don't know of any which could determine it before the kid was born, surely if there was any your mother would have suggested one already – that would have been the first thing she said to you, I think. Plus from the sound of it you don't even know if the girl wants this kid," Sirius pointed out and James nodded. His best mate was right. He had no idea what Evans wanted. It was highly possible that she wasn't keeping the baby as she was just a trainee, his own age according to his mother, practically a kid herself. "You know, maybe you should forget about the whole issue for a while. How about we get smashed tonight?" Sirius offered and James wholeheartedly agreed, but the fire once again came to life before he could say so and to James' horror, it was his mother who stepped out of the flames.

"Oh, Mum, happy birthday!" Sirius hugged James' mother like she was his own which made James roll his eyes but he smiled fondly.

"Thank you, darling. It's good to see you too," she said with a smile but then she turned towards James and her expression darkened.

"I thought I told you to talk to Lily, but when I went back to the room she was there, but you weren't," she said calmly. James offered her to sit, but she declined. Instead, she looked at him like she had never seen him which made James feel incredibly ashamed and awkward. He wasn't used to such disappointment coming from his mother.

"I-I just... You can't understand Mum!" he cried out and she laughed. She actually laughed!

"You made a mistake, James. Everyone does now and then, but mistakes have consequences you know – sometimes they are insignificant, but they can be baby-sized as well." Sirius crossed his arms.

"I'm with James on this. How can we even know the girl isn't lying? She could be just after James' money – Monty's money – your entire family fortune," Sirius pointed out and to James' horror his mother just chuckled dryly.

"Did you have intercourse with her?" she asked and while James found such a question from his own mother rather awkward he nodded. By now he was more than certain that Lily Evans the healer trainee at St Mungo's was Lily the heartbroken Muggle from the pub. Sad and unbelievable, but true.

"Did this happen around the middle of November?" she asked again and James looked at Sirius who nodded after a few moments of thinking.

"Yeah, the wedding was in early December about two weeks after the bachelor's party," he replied.

"Did you use any contraceptive charms?" his mother once again questioned him and James shook his head.

"We did use some Muggle thingy from rubber," James said and his mother rolled his eyes.

"And do you think that you used it perfectly? Did you read the descriptions of it for example?" she asked once again and James shook his head shamefully. She just looked at him like he was a little kid who knew nothing.

"Then darling I believe the chances of that baby having you as its father is rather high. Just so you know Lily took a Morning After Potion at work because she is a responsible girl who didn't ask for any of this, but there was a mix-up in our potions supplies so what she took certainly didn't stop her from being pregnant." Then the universe was really against him. She took a potion which would have meant no chance at pregnancy at all and yet there was a kid because of a freaking mix-up! James just felt awful.

"The kid could still be anyone else's," Sirius said stubbornly and now James watched as his mother faced his best friend.

"I'm not denying that," she started and Sirius had a smug smile on his face. "But all the potions responsible for the baby boom we are experiencing are accounted for now. Do you believe that a girl who took one after a one-night stand wouldn't take another after another one? Lily is a prodigy at potion brewing so if she made one, I'm sure it would have worked and if she brought one in an Apothecary there would be an uproar by now just as there is at Mungo's," she explained and James' stomach hurled. Sirius could be very convincing if he wanted to be so James was very much taken by his friend's idea but his mother was pure logic (hence being a Ravenclaw).

"Aren't Morning After Potions good like a day and a half after sex? She could have found someone in the meantime," Sirius said stubbornly, but to James' dismay, his mother was just laughing.

"That girl spends three-quarters of her life at work," she exclaimed. James was just standing at the sidelines as his mother and Sirius continued to bicker, but his mind only registered about half of it after a bit of time. His mother obviously had spent more time thinking of and knew more about the issue than either Sirius or him which was logical as she was a senior staff member in the hospital where a serious malpractice happened and she was also Evans's mentor. If his mother was so convinced that he was the father of the child currently nestled in Evans's stomach (even the thought of it made him shudder) then there was a bloody huge chance that she was right and he had fathered a kid. He felt queasy and a little faint – did pregnant woman feel like that too?

"And what do you think James should do – go and marry the girl and dump Marlene?" Sirius exclaimed. At that, James looked up and noted that his best mate was practically heaving. He also watched his stubborn mother who didn't back down either.

"No, I just want him to step up and be there for the poor girl who probably feels completely lost and alone at the moment," she replied and Sirius just shook his head.

"If she is no mercenary then she thought she had sex with a random Muggle, one she didn't expect to ever see again. So, it's not like she thinks there is a father," he explained simply, though James knew it was more complicated than that after all Evans recognized him. He was fairly certain that if she was a healer trainee (where top marks were needed) then she would be able to add two and two together. He was certain she now knew that she had sex with James Potter – and then for the thousandth time that day he froze and his eyes widened.

"Oh fuck," he moaned and Sirius turned towards him with surprise clearly written on his face as if he forgot that James even existed let alone that he was there. "She knows – probably 'Quidditch star James Potter knocked up a one-night stand' will be the headline of tomorrow's _Daily_ _Prophet_ and the next _Witch Weekly_ too." He didn't care that much about stupid articles and how the journalists portrayed him in them but Marlene didn't deserve to hear such a thing from a magazine. He also knew that his team's managers indeed cared about those so-called 'news'.

Sirius seemed just as worked up by the idea as James, but to his surprise, his mother remained fairly calm. James raised an eyebrow.

"I don't see Lily as the type whose first instinct is running to a paper and selling her story. Plus she is an intelligent witch, I'm sure she realizes that she'd be portrayed at least as bad as you even just because she is a Muggle-born who grew up abroad. She knows she doesn't have friends in the right places to get away with this situation as the innocent one. Most would just say she was a mercenary who might have even given you love potion and got pregnant on purpose to ensnare you. Others would call her a home-wrecker and so on," she replied calmly and James nodded slowly. His mother was right. He wasn't sure if she was right about Evans's character, but about the other issue most certainly.

 _Witch Weekly_ was literally owned by Marlene's family. If they got wind of such a scandal the magazine would surely portray Marlene as the victim and probably James too (especially as the whole 'let's have sex with random people' thing was Marlene's idea). Evans in every version of the story James could envision came out as the villain ready to ruin the years-old romantic relationship Marlene and he shared.

"So, what? Great, the girl is not some lunatic probably running to the papers, but that won't change the fact that she has a freaking kid in her stomach!" Sirius said angrily. James watched his mother who was now cool and collected unlike him or his best mate.

"It's her choice you know. I would like to prepare you, James that I think she will keep the baby," she turned to James who couldn't meet her eyes because he could only think about one thing: 'Why would he care?' The kid might be biologically his, but did that mean much in real life? Just looking at Sirius he knew it didn't. Sirius's parents hated him and while Sirius might have had the noble look of the Black family he was nothing like any of the other Blacks (maybe except his older cousin Andromeda, but she had nothing to do with her so-called family either).

His mother knew him too well though because she crossed the space between them and to his greatest surprise she slapped him! Never had his mother raised a hand at him before. She was a petite and somewhat elderly woman so it didn't exactly hurt (just stung a bit) but it was still shocking. Based on Sirius' expression he thought the same.

"I know you James Potter and you are a better man than that," she said so coldly that it broke James's heart a bit. It was like she was looking at him, but she didn't recognize him as her son.

"Can you actually imagine leaving a child hanging like that? The kid would forever wonder what he did so wrong that his own father wanted nothing to do with him! What if he inherits your Quidditch skills? What if he looks just like you? Can you imagine watching your son or daughter on the broom one day without him or her knowing who you are?" Of course James knew that a pregnancy meant a baby, but honestly, so far he didn't get to the point in his thread of thoughts that the baby was going to be an adult one day who could become a professional Quidditch player like him. Sirius seemed just as dumbfounded at the idea and eyed James as if he was trying to imagine a kid who looked a bit like him on a broomstick in England's national robes.

"Just so you know I already decided to support Lily and when the baby is born I will request a paternity test. If the baby is indeed yours as I suspect then I will treat them as my grandchild. I thought we taught you better than that, Jamie. I thought you understood that family always comes first," she said softly, but Sirius snorted and had a haughty expression.

"Yes, but family is not always blood." James agreed with Sirius, it was hard not to when one knew the Black family. His mother remained silent for a moment.

"I agree," his mother said to his greatest surprise. "You can love a kid even if he isn't yours." James noticed that her eyes lingered on Sirius, but then she turned back towards him. "It's not really about the baby taking after you in appearance or maybe personality, you know. It's about the child that is yours by blood suffering in any way because you are not there. No kid deserves to grow up without a father when they could have one." It wasn't exactly her words that had made James feel breathless, but her expression and the pain in her eyes which were so similar to his.

"I'm not asking you Jamie to buy a baby broomstick you know, just please talk to Lily. She is the one who is suffering from a mistake both of you made. She didn't want any of this more than you did," she pointed out and Sirius snorted.

"And yet it's her decision that can doom James for the rest of his life. It's pretty unfair, you know! I get that it's her body and all, but you just said, it takes two to tango. Why is James forced to play father if he doesn't want just because some stupid little girl thinks she has what it takes to be a mother?" Sirius asked and her eyes were now focused on him. James watched his mother's murderous expression with fascination now that he wasn't the target of it.

"It's going to be James's decision if he wants to be a father, you know Sirius. However, it is Lily's decision if she wants to go through months of uncomfortable pregnancy and painful birth if she wishes to because she is an adult and it's her body as you graciously pointed it out." She started walking towards the fireplace. "Your father is waiting for me. I won't tell him what happened today, because I want you to be the one to inform him. I just hope that you will find the courage in yourself to face the consequences of what you have done and at least meet Lily." Without another word or even looking in his direction she disappeared into the fire that she started and turned into green in less than a second.

James turned towards Sirius numbly. His best mate, his brother in every way except for blood looked at him with open wariness.

"What should I do?" James asked so softly he wasn't sure Sirius even heard him. Sirius didn't react for a long moment and then he didn't even look at him.

"Well, if you don't want to be disowned maybe you should see this girl at least. She might even tell you that there is nothing to talk about because she had already taken care of the problem or how she is giving up the baby after it is born." James nodded.

"And what if she tells me she is keeping it no matter what?" he asked unsure if he actually wanted to hear his mate's answer. This time Sirius faced him. A pair of grey eyes met his hazel ones.

"Then there will be a baby Potter." What an easy answer to an impossible situation, James thought with bitter amusement.


End file.
